Adam Ferrara Quotes, Funny Quotes, Fall Quotes

The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fall Quotes

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Journalists are like dogs, when ever anything moves they begin to bark.

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Tags : Arthur Schopenhauer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Although always prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it should be postponed.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes

He has a 5 year plan... What is it, don't die?

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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Years Quotes

You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

If I am occasionally a little over-dressed, I make up for it by being always immensely over-educated.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Littles Quotes

Everyone keeps saying, "Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating." It's like saying, "How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt?" I don't care.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

When they took a young man into Tellson's London house, they hid him somewhere till he was old. They kept him in a dark place, like a cheese, until he had the full Tellson flavour and blue-mould upon him. Then only was he permitted to be seen, spectacularly poring over large books, and casting his breeches and gaiters into the general weight of the establishment.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes

Sunshine is my quest.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sunshine Quotes

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Knowledge is invariably a matter of degree: you cannot put your finger upon even the simplest datum and say this we know.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends.

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Tags : Walt Whitman Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed man.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

whenever the literary german dives into a sentence, this is the last you are going to see of him till he emerges on the other side of his atlantic with his verb in his mouth.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends... that if they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them.

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Tags : Adlai E. Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friends Quotes