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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Biography lends to death a new terror.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes
- Man is an animal that makes bargains: no other animal does this - no dog exchanges bones with another.
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Tags : Adam Smith Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes
- Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that men never learn anything from history.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Accuracy to a newspaper is what virtue is to a lady; but a newspaper can always print a retraction.
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Tags : Adlai E. Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Journalism Quotes
- We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.
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Tags : Alanis Morissette Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Don't you drink? I notice you speak slightingly of the bottle. I have drunk since I was fifteen and few things have given me more pleasure.
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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- The nephew revenges himself for this, by holding his breath and terrifying his kinswoman with the dread belief that he has made up his mind to burst. Regardless of whispers and shakes, he swells and becomes discoloured, and yet again swells and becomes discoloured, until the aunt can bear it no longer, but leads him out, with no visible neck, and with his eyes going before him like a prawn's.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Revenge Quotes
- One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
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Tags : Theodore Kaczynski Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Be excellent and party on dudes.
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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a really beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her; and the rule applies to Niagara Falls, to majestic mountains, and to mosques-especially to mosques.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes
- The superfluous, a very necessary thing.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- You can put lipstick on a pig. It's still a pig.
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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Money is like love; it kills slowly and painfully the one who withholds it, and enlivens the other who turns it on his fellow man.
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Tags : Khalil Gibran Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes
- All art is quite useless.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- He would make a lovely corpse.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes