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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- The Creator made Italy from designs by Michelangelo.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Travel Quotes
- Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one.
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Tags : A. J. Liebling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Media Control Quotes
- I don't recognize you - I've changed a lot.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- In heaven, all the interesting people are missing.
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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- I love Americans, but not when they try to talk French. What a blessing it is that they never try to talk English.
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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Drinking Quotes
- I drew the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before and, to be honest with you I wanted to see a blue duck.
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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Blue Quotes
- He's got his dog trained so that it only does it on newspapers. The trouble is it does it when he's reading the blasted things.
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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes
- What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- I think war is a dangerous place.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes
- Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
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Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.
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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes
- Where so many hours have been spent in convincing myself that I am right, is there not some reason to fear I may be wrong?
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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspiring Quotes
- Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell.
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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes
- As soon as you lay down, that's when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. 'Goodnight, baby.' 'Do you think we were together in a past life?' 'Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.' 'Don't you feel like we're soul...'
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Baby Quotes
- I've just read that I am dead. Don't forget to delete me from your list of subscribers.
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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes
- ... Take another glass of wine, and excuse my mentioning that society as a body does not expect one to be so strictly conscientious in emptying one's glass, as to turn it bottom upwards with the rim on one's nose.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- It's much easier for me to make major life, multi-million dollar decisions, than it is to decide on a carpet for my front porch. That's the truth.
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Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes