Charles Dickens Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

... As to sleep, you know, I never sleep now. I might be a Watchman, except that I don't get any pay, and he's got nothing on his mind.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom.

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Tags : Edgar Allan Poe Quotes , Funny Quotes , Pain Quotes

We think our fathers fools, so wise we grow. Our wiser sons, no doubt will think us so.

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Tags : Alexander Pope Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wise Quotes

A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Age Quotes

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I have always been of the opinion that hard work is simply the refuge of people who have nothing whatever to do.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Business Quotes

True, a little learning is a dangerous thing, but it still beats total ignorance.

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Tags : Abigail Van Buren Quotes , Funny Quotes , Education Quotes

You don't ever ask a barber whether you need a haircut.

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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

May God defend me from my friends: I can defend myself from my enemies.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

We are living in 1937, and our universities, I suggest, are not half-way out of the fifteenth century. We have made hardly any changes in our conception of university organization, education, graduation, for a century - for several centuries.

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Tags : H. G. Wells Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

To say that obesity is caused by merely consuming too many calories is like saying that the only cause of the American Revolution was the Boston Tea Party.

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Tags : Adelle Davis Quotes , Funny Quotes , Party Quotes

Monsieur l'abbé, I detest what you write, but I would give my life to make it possible for you to continue to write.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

There has been much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happened.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

We learn from history that we learn nothing from history.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes

Only the shallow know themselves.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes