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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Let us work without theorizing, tis the only way to make life endurable.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- You can put lipstick on a pig. It's still a pig.
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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange!
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Sanity is very rare; every man almost and every woman has a dash of madness.
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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes
- ... As to sleep, you know, I never sleep now. I might be a Watchman, except that I don't get any pay, and he's got nothing on his mind.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.
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Tags : Aeschylus Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wise Quotes
- Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The good ended happily, and the bad unhappily. That is what fiction means.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Change Quotes
- You can always rely on America to do the right thing -- once it has exhausted the alternatives.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- I have attended operas, whenever I could not help it, for fourteen years now; I am sure I know of no agony comparable to the listening to an unfamiliar opera.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
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Tags : Theodore Kaczynski Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- "It's an old habit of mine, Wal'r," said the Captain, "any time these fifty year. When you see Ned Cuttle bite his nails, Wal'r, then you may know that Ned Cuttle's aground."
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I don't think the discus will ever attract any interest until they let us start throwing them at one another.
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Tags : Al Oerter Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.
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Tags : Alan Shearer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Soccer Quotes
- If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.
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Tags : Dalai Lama Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of 30.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes
- Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes