Oscar Wilde Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : A. Whitney Brown Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes

Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: 'Swear to God, man - the hooker gave the money back.'

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lying Quotes

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Truth - An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Dombey sat in the corner of the darkened room in the great arm-chair by the bedside, and Son lay tucked up warm in a little basket bedstead, carefully disposed on a low settee immediately in front of the fire and close to it, as if his constitution were analogous to that of a muffin, and it was essential to toast him brown while he was very new.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

It is a wise child that knows its own father, and an unusual one that unreservedly approves of him.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wise Quotes

Figure out what to do, then take a nap.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wisdom Quotes

Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have. It's much sexier than any body part.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Aimee Mullins Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Victor Hugo Quotes , Funny Quotes , Horse Quotes

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Familiarity breeds contempt. How accurate that is. The reason we hold truth in such respect is because we have so little opportunity to get familiar with it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Respect Quotes

Whenever a man's friends begin to compliment him about looking young, he may be sure that they think he is growing old.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Victor Hugo Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes

Where so many hours have been spent in convincing myself that I am right, is there not some reason to fear I may be wrong?

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspiring Quotes

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Change Quotes