Oscar Wilde Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

Really, if the lower orders don't set a good example, what on earth is the use of them?

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to be perfectly deaf.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The Cardinal is at his wit's end - it is true that he had not far to go.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupidity Quotes

There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

He would make a lovely corpse.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. Don't be surly at home, then go out in the street and start grinning 'Good morning' at total strangers.

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Tags : Maya Angelou Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

The English have a miraculous power of turning wine into water.

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My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.

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Tags : Theodore Kaczynski Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Hatred is blind, as well as love.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Let a short Act of Parliament be passed, placing all street musicians outside the protection of the law, so that any citizen may assail them with stones, sticks, knives, pistols or bombs without incurring any penalties.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes

There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wisdom Quotes

I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them, and enter the next world as paupers. I have saved up enough to make an astonishment there.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

Farewell, fair cruelty.

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

When they took a young man into Tellson's London house, they hid him somewhere till he was old. They kept him in a dark place, like a cheese, until he had the full Tellson flavour and blue-mould upon him. Then only was he permitted to be seen, spectacularly poring over large books, and casting his breeches and gaiters into the general weight of the establishment.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes

The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

My Dear McClellan, if you don't want to use the army I should like to borrow it for a while. Yours respectfully.

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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , War Quotes

The last thing one discovers in composing a work is what to put first.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes

Old age hath yet his honour and his toil.

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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Age Quotes

A modest ring at the bell at length allayed her fears, and Miss Benton, hurrying into her own room and shutting herself up, in order that she might preserve that appearance of being taken by surprise which is so essential to the polite reception of visitors, awaited their coming with a smiling countenance.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I would rather have a nod from an American, than a snuff- box from an emperor.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes