Charles Dickens Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

... I had a latent impression that there was something decidedly fine in Mr. Wopsle's elocution - not for old associations' sake, I am afraid, but because it was very slow, very dreary, very up-hill and down-hill, and very unlike any way in which any man in any natural circumstances of life or death ever expressed himself about anything.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

All art is quite useless.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Some medical beast had revived tar-water in those days as a fine medicine, and Mrs. Joe always kept a supply of it in the cupboard; having a belief in its virtues correspondent to its nastiness. At the best of times, so much of this elixir was administered to me as a choice restorative, that I was conscious of going about, smelling like a new fence.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.

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Tags : Theodore Kaczynski Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.

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Tags : Plato Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Everyone who has ever built anywhere a "new heaven" first found the power thereto in his own hell.

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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Government Quotes

If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Law Quotes

I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sexy Quotes

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.

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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.

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Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

If there were no God, it would have been necessary to invent him.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religion Quotes

If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes