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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Ones real life is often the life that one does not lead.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Trust Quotes
- Most people's major life changes don't come from reading an article in the newspaper; they come from reading longer-form essays or thoughtful books, which are much more convincing and detailed.
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Tags : Aaron Swartz Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- What is the use of straining after an amiable view of things, when a cynical view is most likely to be the true one?.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- There is nothing so absurd that some philosopher has not already said it.
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Tags : Marcus Tullius Cicero Quotes , Funny Quotes , Philosophical Quotes
- Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Business Quotes
- My toughest fight was with my first wife.
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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes
- The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes
- I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , God Quotes
- When the ax came into the forest the trees said the handle is one of us.
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Tags : Alice Walker Quotes , Funny Quotes , Tree Quotes
- Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.
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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes
- They misunderestimated me.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes
- One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- On the outskirts of every agony sits some observant fellow who points.
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Tags : Virginia Woolf Quotes , Funny Quotes , Art Quotes
- Give me the luxuries and I can dispense with the necessities.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Home is the girl's prison and the woman's workhouse.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes
- The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes
- As he was valiant, I honour him. But as he was ambitious, I slew him.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes