Charles Dickens Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

... I had a latent impression that there was something decidedly fine in Mr. Wopsle's elocution - not for old associations' sake, I am afraid, but because it was very slow, very dreary, very up-hill and down-hill, and very unlike any way in which any man in any natural circumstances of life or death ever expressed himself about anything.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There are some remarkable parallels between basketball and politics. Michael Jordan has already mastered the skill most needed for political success: how to stay aloft without visible means of support.

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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Funny Quotes , Basketball Quotes

I like Wagner's music better than anybody's. It is so loud that one can talk the whole time without other people hearing what one says.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes

That's an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone... forever?

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Philosophical Quotes

Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary.

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Tags : Robert Louis Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

If you could see my legs when I take my boots off, you'd form some idea of what unrequited affection is.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.

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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

She say, Celie, tell the truth, have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for him to show.

4 years ago

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Tags : Alice Walker Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom.

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Tags : Edgar Allan Poe Quotes , Funny Quotes , Pain Quotes

A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.

4 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Education Quotes

The movement of life has its rest in its own music.

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Tags : Rabindranath Tagore Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Successful Quotes

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes

When I was a kid I used to hate getting picked for team sports. It would be the fit and sporty guys over there. And me and the fat kids over here. Those kids were fat! One girl had to be cut out a hula hoop.

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Tags : Alan Carr Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes

Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.

4 years ago

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Smoking Quotes

Every man is surrounded by a neighborhood of voluntary spies.

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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Reality Quotes