Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Christian Quotes

I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christian Quotes

Dead birds don't fall out of their nests.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fall Quotes

... Waiter! raw beef-steak for the gentleman's eye,-nothing like raw beef-steak for a bruise, sir; cold lamp-post very good, but lamp-post inconvenient-damned odd standing in the open street half-an-hour, with your eye against a lamp.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

What people commonly call fate is mostly their own stupidity.

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Tags : Arthur Schopenhauer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fate Quotes

A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world, and the worst of it is that half of them are true.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , True Friend Quotes

"Well," said my aunt, "this is his boy - his son. He would be as like his father as it's possible to be, if he was not so like his mother, too."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mother Quotes

If so many men, so many minds, certainly so many hearts, so many kinds of love.

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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.

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Tags : Dalai Lama Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The only way a woman can ever reform a man is by boring him so completely that he loses all possible interest in life.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes

The good ended happily, and the bad unhappily. That is what fiction means.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Change Quotes

My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world.

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Nothing can confound a wise man more than laughter from a dunce.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes

The nephew revenges himself for this, by holding his breath and terrifying his kinswoman with the dread belief that he has made up his mind to burst. Regardless of whispers and shakes, he swells and becomes discoloured, and yet again swells and becomes discoloured, until the aunt can bear it no longer, but leads him out, with no visible neck, and with his eyes going before him like a prawn's.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Revenge Quotes

Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes

But the peasants - how do the peasants die?

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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

"Peggotty!" repeated Miss Betsey, with some indignation. "Do you mean to say, child, that any human being has gone into a Christian church, and got herself named Peggotty?"

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christian Quotes