Mark Twain Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Dead birds don't fall out of their nests.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fall Quotes

If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Business Quotes

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Law Quotes

Fifteen referees. I want fifteen referees to be at this fight because there ain't no one man who can keep up with the pace I'm gonna set except me. There's not a man alive who can whup me. I'm too fast. I'm too smart. I'm too pretty. I should be a postage stamp. That's the only way I'll ever get licked.

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Smart Quotes

I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

Not to have control over the senses is like sailing in a rudderless ship, bound to break to pieces on coming in contact with the very first rock.

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Tags : Mahatma Gandhi Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.

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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Success Quotes

A truth that's told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent.

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Tags : William Blake Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Really, if the lower orders don't set a good example, what on earth is the use of them?

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

A minister of state is excusable for the harm he does when the helm of government has forced his hand in a storm; but in the calm he is guilty of all the good he does not do.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I walk up a dune to a beach and look out to sea, but it's 100km away. The ships lie askew in their dry beds, at anchor for ever. Today is my son's birthday. Thousands of miles from here, his healthy lungs are blowing out candles. I should be there but I'm here with another boy, who puts his face close to mine and laughs. I smile back but realise he can't see it, because I'm wearing an antiseptic muzzles to protect me from his breath.

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Tags : A. A. Gill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beach Quotes

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Clever Quotes