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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- If you look at a group of people that had faith, it's got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, 'I don't think he knows where he's going.'
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Most modern calendars mar the sweet simplicity of our lives by reminding us that each day that passes is the anniversary of some perfectly uninteresting event.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Anniversary Quotes
- People must not do things for fun. We are not here for fun. There is no reference to fun in any Act of Parliament.
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Tags : A. P. Herbert Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- It is no harm to be an ass, if one is content to bray and not kick.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.
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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes
- It is always a silly thing to give advice, but to give good advice is absolutely fatal.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and it holds the world together.
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Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it.
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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.
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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fathers Day Quotes
- Women are made to be loved, not understood.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- No, my friend, I am not drunk. I have just been to the dentist, and need not return for another six months! Is it not the most beautiful thought? --Poirot
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Tags : Agatha Christie Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beautiful Quotes
- There comes a moment in the day when you have written your pages in the morning, attended to your correspondence in the afternoon, and have nothing further to do. Then comes that hour when you are bored; that's the time for sex.
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Tags : H. G. Wells Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes
- More and more of our imports are coming from overseas
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , God Quotes
- Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes
- Of course it's the same old story. Truth usually is the same old story.
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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes