A. A. Milne Quotes, Funny Quotes, Inspiring Quotes

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

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Tags : A. A. Milne Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspiring Quotes

I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Leadership Quotes

Only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked.

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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivation Quotes

The French complain of everything, and always.

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Tags : Napoleon Bonaparte Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Whenever a man's friends begin to compliment him about looking young, he may be sure that they think he is growing old.

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Tags : Victor Hugo Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Senior Quotes

There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

A modest ring at the bell at length allayed her fears, and Miss Benton, hurrying into her own room and shutting herself up, in order that she might preserve that appearance of being taken by surprise which is so essential to the polite reception of visitors, awaited their coming with a smiling countenance.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

God created sex. Priests created marriage.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

A beautiful vacuum filled with wealthy monogamists, all powerful and members of the best families all drinking themselves to death.

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beautiful Quotes

By giving us the opinions of the uneducated, journalism keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

But Rosa soon made the discovery that Miss Twinkleton didn't read fairly. She cut the love-scenes, interpolated passages in praise of female celibacy, and was guilty of other glaring pious frauds.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

College is a refuge from hasty judgment.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , College Quotes

Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes

My mother married a very good man ... and she is not at all keen on my doing the same.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Nothing can confound a wise man more than laughter from a dunce.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes

I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes