Oscar Wilde Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Tell the cook of this restaurant with my compliments that these are the very worst sandwiches in the whole world, and that, when I ask for a watercress sandwich, I do not mean a loaf with a field in the middle of it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Sunshine is my quest.

4 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sunshine Quotes

A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fine Quotes

I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

It takes a thoroughly good woman to do a thoroughly stupid thing

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes

You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

Time and tide wait for no man. A pompous and self-satisfied proverb, and was true for a billion years; but in our day of electric wires and water-ballast we turn it around: Man waits not for time nor tide.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.

4 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Change Quotes

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving.

5 years ago

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Tags : Robert Louis Stevenson Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

5 years ago

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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The youth of America is their oldest tradition. It has been going on now for three hundred years.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.

5 years ago

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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

He had the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christian Quotes

Common sense is genius dressed in its working clothes.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christmas Quotes