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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground.
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Tags : Francis Bacon Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes
- I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes
- Think! I've got enough to do, and little enough to get for it, without thinking.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- As one reads history ... one is absolutely sickened, not by the crimes that the wicked have committed, but by the punishments that the good have inflicted.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes
- Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- For truth is always strange; stranger than fiction.
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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes
- Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that men never learn anything from history.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- No object is so beautiful that, under certain conditions, it will not look ugly.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes
- I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends... that if they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them.
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Tags : Adlai E. Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friends Quotes
- Only the shallow know themselves.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Americans are like a rich father who wishes he knew how to give his son the hardships that made him rich.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Father Quotes
- What a fine weather today! Can’t choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.
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Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- No sane man will dance.
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Tags : Marcus Tullius Cicero Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes
- Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wisdom Quotes
- It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Senior Quotes
- This may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about.. when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happy Birthday Quotes
- Although always prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it should be postponed.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes