Oscar Wilde Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humor Quotes

As one reads history ... one is absolutely sickened, not by the crimes that the wicked have committed, but by the punishments that the good have inflicted.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Theodore Roosevelt Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

My toughest fight was with my first wife.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

If you injure your neighbour, better not do it by halves.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Half Quotes

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Will the highways on the Internet become more few?

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

The basis of action is lack of imagination. It is the last resource of those who know not how to dream.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Arguments are to be avoided: they are always vulgar and often convincing.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The funniest people are the saddest once

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Confucius Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes

If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

A book is made from a tree. It is an assemblage of flat, flexible parts (still called "leaves") imprinted with dark pigmented squiggles. One glance at it and you hear the voice of another person, perhaps someone dead for thousands of years. Across the millennia, the author is speaking, clearly and silently, inside your head, directly to you. Writing is perhaps the greatest of human inventions, binding together people, citizens of distant epochs, who never knew one another. Books break the shackles of time ― proof that humans can work magic.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Carl Sagan Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. Don't be surly at home, then go out in the street and start grinning 'Good morning' at total strangers.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Maya Angelou Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Law Quotes