Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes, Hands Quotes

While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands, you are safe, for you can watch both his.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Hands Quotes

I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.

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Really, if the lower orders don't set a good example, what on earth is the use of them?

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.

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Only Lawyers and mental defectives are automatically exempt for jury duty.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Law Quotes

Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.

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Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Food Quotes

Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I have witnessed and greatly enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been so powerful that one act was quite sufficient; whenever I have witnessed two acts I have gone away physically exhausted; and whenever I have ventured an entire opera the result has been the next thing to suicide.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Waiting Quotes

All art is quite useless.

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God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.

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The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

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Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Go anywhere in England where there are natural wholesome, contented and really nice English people; and what do you find? That the stables are the real centre of the household.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Horse Quotes

I'm so overexposed, I'm making Paris Hilton look like a recluse.

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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Arguments are extremely vulgar, for everybody in good society holds exactly the same opinions.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Political Quotes