Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Patriotism Quotes, Fever Quotes

Patriotism is as fierce as a fever, pitiless as the grave, blind as a stone, and irrational as a headless hen.

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COMPULSION, n. The eloquence of power.

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EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.

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A person of greater enterprise than discretion, who in embracing an opportunity has formed an unfortunate attachment.

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That part of your friend which it is your privilege to contemplate in your adversity

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Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.

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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.

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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

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MATERIAL, adj. Having an actual existence, as distinguished from an imaginary one. Important.

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An auctioneer is a man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

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Self-restraint is indulgence of the propensity to forgo.

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MUSTANG, n. An indocile horse of the western plains. In English society, the American wife of an English nobleman.

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Along the road of life are many pleasure resorts, but think not that by tarrying in them you will take more days to the journey. The day of your arrival is already recorded.

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WOMAN, n. An animal usually living in the vicinity of Man, and having a rudimentary susceptibility to domestication.

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Women in love are less ashamed than men. They have less to be ashamed of.

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Wisdom is known only by contrasting it with folly; by shadow only we perceive that all visible objects are not flat. Yet Philanthropos would abolish evil!

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MOUSE, n. An animal which strews its path with fainting women.

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ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapacity.

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HOG, n. A bird remarkable for the catholicity of its appetite and serving to illustrate that of ours. Among the Mahometans and Jews, the hog is not in favor as an article of diet, but is respected for the delicacy and the melody of its voice. It is chiefly as a songster that the fowl is esteemed; the cage of him in full chorus has been known to draw tears from two persons at once. The scientific name of this dicky-bird is _Porcus Rockefelleri_. Mr. Rockefeller did not discover the hog, but it is considered his by right of resemblance.

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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.

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