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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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- Self-evident, adj. Evident to one's self and to nobody else.
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- READING, n. The general body of what one reads. In our country it consists, as a rule, of Indiana novels, short stories in "dialect" and humor in slang.
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- Hope is an explorer who surveys the country ahead. That is why we know so much about the Hereafter and so little about the Heretofore.
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- Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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- OLD, adj. In that stage of usefulness which is not inconsistent with general inefficiency, as an "old man". Discredited by lapse of time and offensive to the popular taste, as an "old" book.
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- WRATH, n. Anger of a superior quality and degree, appropriate to exalted characters and momentous occasions; as, "the wrath of God," "the day of wrath," etc. . . .
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- The liberality of one who has much, in permitting one who has nothing to get all that he can.
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- POSITIVISM- A philosophy that denies our knowledge of the Real and affirms our ignorance of the Apparent. Its longest exponent is Comte, its broadest Mill and its thickest Spencer.
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- I was born to poor because of honest parents.
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- Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.
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- To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
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- Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.
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- ELECTOR, n. One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man's choice.
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- Gout, a physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient
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- Slang is a foul pool at which every dunce fills his bucket, and then sets up as a fountain.
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- A man is the sum of his ancestors; to reform him you must begin with a dead ape and work downward through a million graves.
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- Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh.
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- EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.
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- You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
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