Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Atheism Quotes, Gabriel Quotes

A large stone presented by the archangel Gabriel to the patriarch Abraham, and preserved at Mecca. The patriarch had perhaps asked the archangel for bread.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Atheism Quotes , Gabriel Quotes

Inexpedient: Not calculated to advance one's interests.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Nihilism Quotes

A king's staff of office, the sign and symbol of his authority. It was originally a mace with which the sovereign admonished his jester and vetoed ministerial measures by breaking the bones of their proponents.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Kings Quotes , Office Quotes

PRESIDE, v. To guide the action of a deliberative body to a desirable result. In Journalese, to perform upon a musical instrument; as, "He presided at the piccolo."

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Music Quotes , Body Quotes

CERBERUS, n. The watch-dog of Hades, whose duty it was to guard the entrance - against whom or what does not clearly appear; everybody, sooner or later, had to go there, and nobody wanted to carry off the entrance.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Dog Quotes , Doe Quotes

Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Disappointment Quotes , Opportunity Quotes

ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Arsenic Quotes

Along the road of life are many pleasure resorts, but think not that by tarrying in them you will take more days to the journey. The day of your arrival is already recorded.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Journey Quotes

Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking the honorable obscurity of public office.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Office Quotes

MINISTER, n. An agent of a higher power with a lower responsibility. In diplomacy, an officer sent into a foreign country as the visible embodiment of his sovereign's hostility.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Country Quotes , Responsibility Quotes

SCARABAEUS, n. The sacred beetle of the ancient Egyptians, allied to our familiar "tumble-bug." It was supposed to symbolize immortality, the fact that God knew why giving it its peculiar sanctity. Its habit of incubating its eggs in a ball of ordure may also have commended it to the favor of the priesthood, and may some day assure it an equal reverence among ourselves. True, the American beetle is an inferior beetle, but the American priest is an inferior priest.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Eggs Quotes , Giving Quotes

Brain, v. [as in "to brain"]: To rebuke bluntly, but not pointedly; to dispel a source of error in an opponent.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Errors Quotes , Brain Quotes

According to the most trustworthy statistics the number of adult Dullards in the United States is but little short of thirty millions, including the statisticians.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Numbers Quotes , Adults Quotes

No country is so wild and difficult but men will make it a theater of war.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Country Quotes , War Quotes

General," said the commander of the delinquent brigade, "I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes

MONARCHICAL GOVERNMENT, n. Government.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes

OUTCOME, n. A particular type of disappointment . . . . judged by the outcome, the result. This is immortal nonsense; the wisdom of an act is to be juded by the light that the doer had when he performed it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wisdom Quotes , Disappointment Quotes

Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

The best kind of onion soup is the simplest kind.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Onions Quotes , Soup Quotes

Honorable, adj.: Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as, "the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.".

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Gentleman Quotes , Affliction Quotes