Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Hateful Quotes, Pleasure Quotes

pleasure, n. The least hateful form of dejection.

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OBSERVATORY, n. A place where astronomers conjecture away the guesses of their predecessors.

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LOSS, n. Privation of that which we had, or had not. Thus, in the latter sense, it is said of a defeated candidate that he "lost his election".

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Self-denial is indulgence of a propensity to forego.

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WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard.

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An aged Burgundy runs with a beardless Port. I cherish the fancy that Port speaks sentences of wisdom, Burgundy sings the inspired Ode.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Running Quotes , Wine Quotes

SCARABAEUS, n. The sacred beetle of the ancient Egyptians, allied to our familiar "tumble-bug." It was supposed to symbolize immortality, the fact that God knew why giving it its peculiar sanctity. Its habit of incubating its eggs in a ball of ordure may also have commended it to the favor of the priesthood, and may some day assure it an equal reverence among ourselves. True, the American beetle is an inferior beetle, but the American priest is an inferior priest.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Eggs Quotes , Giving Quotes

MISDEMEANOR, n. An infraction of the law having less dignity than a felony and constituting no claim to admittance into the best criminal society.

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Kiss. n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss".

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A king's staff of office, the sign and symbol of his authority. It was originally a mace with which the sovereign admonished his jester and vetoed ministerial measures by breaking the bones of their proponents.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Kings Quotes , Office Quotes

TENACITY, n. A certain quality of the human hand in its relation to the coin of the realm. It attains its highest development in the hand of authority and is considered a serviceable equipment for a career in politics.

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REPORTER, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Truth Quotes , Way Quotes

Certain old men prefer to rise at dawn, taking a cold bath and a long walk with an empty stomach and otherwise mortifying the flesh. They then point with pride to these practices as the cause of their sturdy health and ripe years; the truth being that they are hearty and old, not because of their habits, but in spite of them. The reason we find only robust persons doing this thing is that it has killed all the others who have tried it.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Crazy Quotes , Pride Quotes

Honorable, adj.: Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as, "the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.".

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Gentleman Quotes , Affliction Quotes

PLAGUE, n. In ancient times a general punishment of the innocent for admonition of their ruler, as in the familiar instance of Pharaoh the Immune. The plague today . . . is merely Nature's fortuitous manifestation of her purposeless objectionableness.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Time Quotes , Nature Quotes

LOGOMACHY, n. A war in which the weapons are words and the wounds punctures in the swim-bladder of self-esteem - a kind of contest in which, the vanquished being unconscious of defeat, the victor is denied the reward of success.

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REALITY, n. The dream of a mad philosopher. That which would remain in the cupel if one should assay a phantom. The nucleus of a vacuum.

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TALK, v.t. To commit an indiscretion without temptation, from an impulse without purpose.

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If you want to read a perfect book there is only one way: write it.

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FORCE, n. "Force is but might," the teacher said p/ "That definition's just."/ The boy said naught but throught instead,/ Remembering his pounded head:/ "Force is not might but must!"

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Teacher Quotes , Boys Quotes