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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- VITUPERATION, n. Saite, as understood by dunces and all such as suffer from an impediment in their wit.
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- You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
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- Honorable, adj.: Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as, "the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.".
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- A person of greater enterprise than discretion, who in embracing an opportunity has formed an unfortunate attachment.
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- Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
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- GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason.
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- Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
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- DEPENDENT, adj. Reliant upon another's generosity for the support which you are not in a position to exact from his fears.
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- PRESBYTERIAN, n. One who holds the conviction that the government authorities of the Church should be called presbyters.
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- Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
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- A penny saved is a penny to squander.
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- Conversation: A fair for the display of the minor mental commodities, each exhibitor being too intent upon the arrangement of his own wares to observe those of his neighbor.
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- MARTYR, One who moves along the line of least reluctance to a desired death.
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- USAGE, n. The First Person of the literary Trinity, the Second and Third being Custom and Conventionality. Imbued with a decent reverence for this Holy Triad an industrious writer may hope to produce books that will live as long as the fashion.
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- PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and imperfectly edible, even when stuffed with garlic.
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- PRESIDE, v. To guide the action of a deliberative body to a desirable result. In Journalese, to perform upon a musical instrument; as, "He presided at the piccolo."
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- REFUSAL, n. Denial of something desired; Refusals are graded in a descending scale of finality thus: the refusal absolute, the refusal condition, the refusal tentative and the refusal feminine. The last is called by some casuists the refusal assentive.
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- Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
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- EXPOSTULATION, n. One of the many methods by which fools prefer to lose their friends.
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- Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.
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