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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- PREDESTINATION, n. The doctrine that all things occur according to programme. . . . not be confused with that of foreordination. The difference is great enough to have deluged Christendom with ink, to say nothing of the gore.
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- Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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- Noise: a stench in the ear.
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- Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.
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- A comely female inhabiting the Mohammedan Paradise to make things cheery for the good Mussulman, whose belief in her existence marks a noble discontent with his earthly spouse, whom he denies a soul.
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- LEGACY, n. A gift from one who is legging it out of this vale of tears.
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- REPRESENTATIVE, n. In national politics, a member of the Lower House in this world, and without discernible hope of promotion in the next.
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- Kiss. n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss".
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- Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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- Gout, a physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient
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- Happiness has not to all the same name: to Youth she is known as the Future; Age knows her as the Dream.
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- RACK, n. An argumentative implement formerly much used in persuading devotees of a false faith to embrace the living truth. As a call to the unconverted the rack never had any particular efficacy, and is now held in light popular esteem.
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- Age is provident because the less future we have the more we fear it.
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- PICKANINNY, n. The young of the "Procyanthropos", or "Americanus dominans". It is small, black and charged with political fatalities.
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- Indigestion: A disease which the patient and his friends frequently mistake for deep religious conviction and concern for the salvation of mankind. As the simple Red Man of the Western Wild put it, with, it must be confessed, a certain force: 'Plenty well, no pray; big belly ache, heap God.'
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- ROMANCE, n. Fiction that owes no allegiance to the God of Things as They Are. In the novel the writer's thought is tethered to probability, but in romance it ranges at will over the entire region of the imagination . . .
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- History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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- Behavior, n. Conduct, as determined, not by principle, but by breeding.
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- LUMINARY, One who throws light upon a subject; as an editor by not writing about it.
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- Condole - to show that bereavement is a smaller evil than sympathy.
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