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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- In this world one must have a name; it prevents confusion, even when it does not establish identity. Some, though, are known by numbers, which also seem inadequate distinctions.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Names Quotes , Numbers Quotes
- REDEMPTION, n. Deliverance of sinners from the penalty of their sin, through their murder of the deity against whom they sinned . . . . whoso believeth in it shall not perish, but have everlasting life in which to try to understand it.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Understanding Quotes
- UNDERSTANDING, n. A cerebral secretion that enables one having it to know a house from a horse by the roof on the house. Its nature and laws have been exhaustively expounded by Locke, who rode a house, and Kant, who lived in a horse.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Nature Quotes
- Homicide, /n./ The slaying of one human by another. There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slain whether he died by one kind or another - the classification is for the advantage of the lawyers.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Death Quotes , Suicide Quotes
- The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
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- DEINOTHERIUM, n. An extinct pachyderm that flourished when the Pterodactyl was in fashion. The latter was a native of Ireland, its name being pronounced Terry Dactyl or Peter O'Dactyl, as the man pronouncing it may chance to have heard it spoken or seen it printed.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Fashion Quotes , Men Quotes
- The game of discontent has its rules, and he who disregards them cheats. It is not permitted to you to wish to add another's advantages or possessions to your own; you are permitted only to wish to be another.
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- THEOSOPHY, n. An ancient faith having all the certitude of religion and all the mystery of science.
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- EXCEPTION, n. A thing which takes the liberty to differ from other things of its class, as an honest man, a truthful woman, etc.
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- Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.
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- IMPROVIDENCE, n. Provision for the needs of to-day from the revenues of to-morrow.
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- There are two instruments worse than a clarinet - two clarinets.
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- FINANCE, n. The art or science of managing revenues and resources for the best advantage of the manager. The pronunciation of this word with the i long and the accent on the first syllable is one of America's most precious discoveries and possessions.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Art Quotes , Discovery Quotes
- LOGOMACHY, n. A war in which the weapons are words and the wounds punctures in the swim-bladder of self-esteem - a kind of contest in which, the vanquished being unconscious of defeat, the victor is denied the reward of success.
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- Adolescence: A stage between infancy and adultery.
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- FIB, n. A lie that has not cut its teeth. An habitual liar's nearest approach to truth: the perigee of his eccentric orbit.
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- Even the laws of justice themselves cannot subsist without mixture of injustice.
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- The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Men Quotes , Body Quotes
- Damning, with bell, book and candle / Some sinner whose opinions are a scandal. / A rite permitting Satan to enslave him / Forever, and forbidding Christ to save him.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Book Quotes , Forever Quotes
- RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Character Quotes , Rumor Quotes