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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- MONARCHICAL GOVERNMENT, n. Government.
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- MAMMON, n. The god of the world's leading religion. The chief temple is in the holy city of New York.
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- A bad marriage is like an electrical thrilling machine: it makes you dance, but you can't let go.
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- Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship.
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- MISDEMEANOR, n. An infraction of the law having less dignity than a felony and constituting no claim to admittance into the best criminal society.
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- The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
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- Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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- Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
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- The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of remarkable Christian forbearance among men - were it not for a mawkish humanitarianism, coupled with imperfect digestive powers, we should devour our young, as Nature intended.
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- Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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- MISERICORDE, n. A dagger which in mediaeval warfare was used by the foot soldier to remind an unhorsed knight that he was mortal.
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- MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people's beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
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- ASS, n. A public singer with a good voice but no ear.
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- NECTAR, n. A drink served at banquets of the Olympian deities. The secret of its preparation is lost, but the modern Kentuckians believe that they come pretty near to a knowledge of its chief ingredient.
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- BABE or BABY, n. A misshapen creature of no particular age, sex, or condition, chiefly remarkable for the violence of the sympathies and antipathies it excites in others, itself without sentiment or emotion.
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- PRESIDE, v. To guide the action of a deliberative body to a desirable result. In Journalese, to perform upon a musical instrument; as, "He presided at the piccolo."
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- LIVER, n. A large red organ thoughtfully provided by nature to be bilious with. The liver is heaven's best gift to the goose; without it that bird would be unable to supply us with the Strasbourg "pate".
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- Fear has no brains; it is an idiot. The dismal witness that it bears and the cowardly counsel that it whispers are unrelated.
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- A bad workman quarrels with the man who calls him that.
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- There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
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