Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Political Quotes, Liberty Quotes

You cannot adopt politics as a profession and remain honest.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Political Quotes , Liberty Quotes

INFALAPSARIAN, n. One who ventures to believe that Adam need not have sinned unless he had a mind to - in opposition to the Supralapsarians, who hold that that luckless person's fall was decreed from the beginning.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Believe Quotes , Fall Quotes

A king's staff of office, the sign and symbol of his authority. It was originally a mace with which the sovereign admonished his jester and vetoed ministerial measures by breaking the bones of their proponents.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Kings Quotes , Office Quotes

Cribbage, n. A substitute for conversation among those to whom nature has denied ideas.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Ideas Quotes , Substitutes Quotes

Condole - to show that bereavement is a smaller evil than sympathy.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Evil Quotes , Bereavement Quotes

KILT, n. A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Scotland Quotes , America Quotes

PROOF, n. Evidence having a shade more of plausibility than of unlikelihood. The testimony of two credible witnesses as opposed to that of only one.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Two Quotes

Age is provident because the less future we have the more we fear it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes

Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Lying Quotes , Sadness Quotes

GRAVE, n. A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Students Quotes

An old wine-bibber having been smashed in a railway collision, some wine was poured on his lips to revive him.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wine Quotes , Lips Quotes

Justice is a commodity which in a more or less adulterated condition the State sells to the citizen as a reward for his allegiance, taxes and personal service.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Justice Quotes , Rewards Quotes

Dance, v.i. To leap about to the sound of tittering music, preferably with arms about your neighbor's wife or daughter. There are many kinds of dances, but all those requiring the participation of the two sexes have two characteristics in common: they are conspicuously innocent, and warmly loved by the vicious.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Dance Quotes , Daughter Quotes

ENOUGH, pro. All there is in the world if you like it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , World Quotes , You Like It Quotes

Dictionary: a malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Growth Quotes , Language Quotes

ADDER, n. A species of snake. So called from its habit of adding funeral outlays to the other expenses of living.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Snakes Quotes

Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is - it is her shadow.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Doubt Quotes , Shadow Quotes

The best kind of onion soup is the simplest kind.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Onions Quotes , Soup Quotes

GNU, n. An animal of South Africa, which in its domesticated state resembles a horse, a buffalo and a stag. In its wild condition it is something like a thunderbolt, an earthquake and a cyclone.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Horse Quotes , Animal Quotes

Bigamy, n. A mistake in taste for which the wisdom of the future will adjudge a punishment called trigamy.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Mistake Quotes , Punishment Quotes