Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Running Quotes, Men Quotes

We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights; that among these are life, and the right to make that of another miserable by thrusting upon him an incalculable quantity of acquaintances; liberty, particularly the liberty to introduce persons to one another without first ascertaining if they are not already acquainted as enemies; and the pursuit of another's happiness with a running pack of strangers.

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ELEGY, n. A composition in verse, in which, without employing any of the methods of humor, the writer aims to produce in the reader's mind the dampest kind of dejection.

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RADIUM, n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with.

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ARENA, n. In politics, an imaginary rat-pit in which the statesman wrestles with his record.

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LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder.

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PIG, n. An animal ("Porcus omnivorus") closely allied to the human race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however, is inferior in scope, for it sticks at pig.

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hybrid, n. A pooled issue.

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ETHNOLOGY, n. The science that treats of the various tribes of Man, as robbers, thieves, swindlers, dunces, lunatics, idiots and ethnologists.

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To the eye of failure success is an accident.

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If every hypocrite in the United States were to break his leg to-day the country could be successfully invaded to-morrow by the warlike hypocrites of Canada.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Country Quotes , Hypocrite Quotes

PREDESTINATION, n. The doctrine that all things occur according to programme. . . . not be confused with that of foreordination. The difference is great enough to have deluged Christendom with ink, to say nothing of the gore.

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Loquacity, n. A disorder which renders the sufferer unable to curb his tongue when you wish to talk.

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EXECUTIVE, n. An officer of the Government, whose duty it is to enforce the wishes of the legislative power until such time as the judicial department shall be pleased to pronounce them invalid and of no effect.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Time Quotes , Power Quotes

MONARCH, n. A person engaged in reigning. Formerly the monarch ruled, as the derivation of the word attests, and as many subjects have had occasion to learn.

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Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.

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PLEONASM, n. An army of words escorting a corporal of thought.

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INDISCRETION, n. The guilt of woman.

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Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

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OPIATE, n. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.

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BIRTH, n. The first and direst of all disasters. As to the nature of it there appears to be no uniformity. Castor and Pollux were born from the egg. Pallas came out of a skull. Galatea was once a block of stone. Peresilis, who wrote in the tenth century, avers that he grew up out of the ground where a priest had spilled holy water. It is known that Arimaxus was derived from a hole in the earth, made by a stroke of lightning. Leucomedon was the son of a cavern in Mount Etna, and I have myself seen a man come out of a wine cellar.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Block Quotes , Wine Quotes