Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Retirement Quotes, Women Quotes

Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.

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HOMŒOPATHIST, n. The humorist of the medical profession.

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VIRTUES, n.pl. Certain abstentions.

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Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.

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pleasure, n. The least hateful form of dejection.

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If you would be accounted great by your contemporaries, be not too much greater than they.

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Fashion, n. A despot whom the wise ridicule and obey.

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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.

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ACKNOWLEDGE, v.t. To confess. Acknowledgment of one another's faults is the highest duty imposed by our love of truth.

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CARTESIAN, adj. Relating to Descartes, author of 'Cogito ergo sum' to demonstrate the reality of human existence. The dictum might be improved 'Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum' 'I think that I think, therefore I think that I am' as close an approach.

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We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to call our attitude of subjection a posture of respect.

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Philanthropist, n.: A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.

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Every patriot believes his country better than any other country . . . In its active manifestation-it is fond of killing-patriotism would be well enough if it were simply defensive, but it is also aggressive . . . Patriotism deliberately and with folly aforethought subordinates the interests of a whole to the interests of a part . . . Patriotism is fierce as a fever, pitiless as the grave and blind as a stone.

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PRESIDENT, n. The leading figure in a small group of men of whom - and of whom only - it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen did not want any of them for President.

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Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors.

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Duck-bill, n. Your account at your restaurant during the canvas-back season.

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FOLLY, n. That "gift and faculty divine" whose creative and controlling energy inspires Man's mind, guides his actions and adorns his life.

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LICKSPITTLE, n. A useful functionary, not infrequently found editing a newspaper . . . the lickspittle is only the blackmailer under another aspect, although the latter is frequently found as an independent species.

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Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.

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MISDEMEANOR, n. An infraction of the law having less dignity than a felony and constituting no claim to admittance into the best criminal society.

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