Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Dance Quotes, Daughter Quotes

Dance, v.i. To leap about to the sound of tittering music, preferably with arms about your neighbor's wife or daughter. There are many kinds of dances, but all those requiring the participation of the two sexes have two characteristics in common: they are conspicuously innocent, and warmly loved by the vicious.

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Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.

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Homicide, /n./ The slaying of one human by another. There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slain whether he died by one kind or another - the classification is for the advantage of the lawyers.

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Brain: an apparatus with which we think that we think. Mind, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain.

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Curiosity, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul.

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REVOLUTION, n. A bursting of the boilers which usually takes place when the safety valve of public discussion is closed.

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TABLE D'HOTE, n. A caterer's thrifty concession to the universal passion for irresponsibility.

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STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue. The truth of the stories here following has, however, not been successfully impeached.

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Duty - that which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.

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MACE, n. A staff of office signifying authority. Its form, that of a heavy club, indicates its original purpose and use in dissuading from dissent.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Office Quotes , Purpose Quotes

FINANCE, n. The art or science of managing revenues and resources for the best advantage of the manager. The pronunciation of this word with the i long and the accent on the first syllable is one of America's most precious discoveries and possessions.

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I keep a conscience uncorrupted by religion, a judgment undimmed by politics and patriotism, a heart untainted by friendships and sentiments unsoured by animosities.

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Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.

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There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.

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Suddenly to change one's opinions and go over to another party. The most notable flop on record was that of Saul of Tarsus, who has been severely criticised as a turn-coat by some of our partisan journals.

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MONSIGNOR- A high ecclesiastical title, of which the Founder of our religion overlooked the advantages.

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Congratulations is the civility of envy.

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War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

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PATRIOT, n. One to whom the interests of a part seem superior to those of the whole. The dupe of statesmen and the tool of conquerors.

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International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoldering one

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