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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- ZEUS /n./ The chief of Grecian gods, adored by the Romans as Jupiter and by the modern Americans as God, Gold, Mob and Dog.
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- Enthusiasm - a distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward applications of experience.
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- LIVER, n. A large red organ thoughtfully provided by nature to be bilious with. The liver is heaven's best gift to the goose; without it that bird would be unable to supply us with the Strasbourg "pate".
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- LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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- Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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- HAND, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.
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- HUSBAND, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.
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- The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
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- The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of remarkable Christian forbearance among men - were it not for a mawkish humanitarianism, coupled with imperfect digestive powers, we should devour our young, as Nature intended.
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- Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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- Don't board with the devil if you wish to be fat.
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- NOUMENON, n. That which exists, as distinguished from that which merely seems to exist, the latter being a phenomenon. The noumenon is a bit difficult to locate; it can be apprehended only by a process of reasoning - which is a phenomenon.
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- I keep a conscience uncorrupted by religion, a judgment undimmed by politics and patriotism, a heart untainted by friendships and sentiments unsoured by animosities.
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- GUNPOWDER, n. An agency employed by civilized nations for the settlement of disputes which might become troublesome if left unadjusted.
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- Strive not for singularity in dress; Fools have the more and men of sense the less. To look original is not worth while, But be in mind a little out of style.
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- Truth is so good a thing that falsehood can not afford to be without it.
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- Uncommon extension of the fear of death.
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- RICH, adj. Holding in trust and subject to an accounting the property of the indolent, the incompetent, the unthrifty, the envious and the luckless.
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- CANNON, n. An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries.
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- SCRAP-BOOK, n. A book that is commonly edited by a fool. Many persons of some small distinction compile scrap-books containing whatever they happen to read about themselves or employ others to collect.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Book Quotes , Fool Quotes