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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- PREHISTORIC, adj. Belonging to an early period and a museum. Antedating the art and practice of perpetuating falsehood.
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- To seek a justification for a decision already made.
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- Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for.
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- Immigrant: An unenlightened person who thinks one country better than another.
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- applause, n. The echo of a platitude.
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- SYCOPHANT- One who approaches Greatness on his belly so that he may not be commanded to turn and be kicked. He is sometimes an editor.
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- Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.
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- Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world.
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- ACKNOWLEDGE, v.t. To confess. Acknowledgment of one another's faults is the highest duty imposed by our love of truth.
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- Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
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- Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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- MONAD, n. The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter (see Molecule). The monad has body without bulk, and mind without manifestation - containing all the powers and possibilities needful to his evolution into a German philosopher . .
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- Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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- In the algebra of psychology, X stands for a woman's heart.
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- MONARCH, n. A person engaged in reigning. Formerly the monarch ruled, as the derivation of the word attests, and as many subjects have had occasion to learn.
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- Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
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- Duck-bill, n. Your account at your restaurant during the canvas-back season.
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- DAY, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. This period is divided into two parts, the day proper and the night, or day improper - the former devoted to sins of business, the latter consecrated to the other sort.
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- If every hypocrite in the United States were to break his leg to-day the country could be successfully invaded to-morrow by the warlike hypocrites of Canada.
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- According to the most trustworthy statistics the number of adult Dullards in the United States is but little short of thirty millions, including the statisticians.
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