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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- diplomacy, n.: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
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- Inexpedient: Not calculated to advance one's interests.
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- PIGMY, n. One of a tribe of very small men found by ancient travelers in many parts of the world, but by modern in Central Africa only. The Pigmies are so called to distinguish them from the bulkier Caucasians - who are Hogmies.
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- Doubt is the father of invention.
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- WALL STREET, n. A symbol for sin for every devil to rebuke. That Wall Street is a den of thieves is a belief that serves every unsuccessful thief in place of a hope in Heaven.
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- RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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- Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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- Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.
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- IMPALE, v.t. In popular usage, to pierce with any weapon which remains fixed in the wound . . . . properly, to put to death by thrusting an upright sharp stake into the body, the victim being left in a sitting position.
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- COMMERCE, n. A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E.
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- FIB, n. A lie that has not cut its teeth. An habitual liar's nearest approach to truth: the perigee of his eccentric orbit.
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- Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.
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- The palmist looks at the wrinkles made by closing the hand and says they signify character. The philosopher reads character by what the hand most loves to close upon.
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- WINE, n.Fermented grape-juice known to the Women's Christian Union as "liquor," sometimes as "rum." Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.
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- What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do it.
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- Epitaph: An inscription on a tomb showing that virtues acquired by death have a retroactive effect.
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- The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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- Age is provident because the less future we have the more we fear it.
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- MAGNETISM, n. Something acting upon a magnet. The two definitions immediately foregoing are condensed from the works of one thousand eminent scientists, who have illuminated the subject with a great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of human knowledge.
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- REASON, n. Propensitate of prejudice.
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