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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Reverence for the Supreme Being, based upon His supposed resemblance to man. The pig is taught by sermons and epistles / To think the God of Swine has snout and bristles.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Men Quotes , Thinking Quotes
- MONOSYLLABIC, adj. Composed of words of one syllable . . . Commonly Saxon - that is to say, words of a barbarous people destitute of ideas and incapable of any but the most elementary sentiments and emotions.
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- AFFLICTION, n. An acclimatizing process preparing the soul for another and bitter world.
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- Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
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- ADDER, n. A species of snake. So called from its habit of adding funeral outlays to the other expenses of living.
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- Brain, v. [as in "to brain"]: To rebuke bluntly, but not pointedly; to dispel a source of error in an opponent.
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- Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact.
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- Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.
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- Along the road of life are many pleasure resorts, but think not that by tarrying in them you will take more days to the journey. The day of your arrival is already recorded.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Journey Quotes
- ETHNOLOGY, n. The science that treats of the various tribes of Man, as robbers, thieves, swindlers, dunces, lunatics, idiots and ethnologists.
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- QUOTIENT, n. A number showing how many times a sum of money belonging to one person is contained in the pocket of another - usually about as many times as it can be got there.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Money Quotes , Numbers Quotes
- KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss." It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding; but the manner of its performance is unknown to this lexicographer.
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- STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue.
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- Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
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- RIBALDRY, n. Censorious language by another concerning oneself.
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- Rhubarb: essence of stomach ache.
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- Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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- POCKET, n. The cradle of motive and the grave of conscience. In woman this organ is lacking; so she acts without motive, and her conscience, denied burial, remains ever alive, confessing the sins of others.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Pockets Quotes , Alive Quotes
- UNDERSTANDING, n. A cerebral secretion that enables one having it to know a house from a horse by the roof on the house. Its nature and laws have been exhaustively expounded by Locke, who rode a house, and Kant, who lived in a horse.
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- Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.
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