Al McGuire Quotes, Funny Quotes, Hilarious Quotes

The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al McGuire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes

I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else.

5 years ago

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I don't recognize you - I've changed a lot.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I've just read that I am dead. Don't forget to delete me from your list of subscribers.

5 years ago

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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.

5 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes

Indeed, it may be laid down as a general principle, that the more extended the ancestry, the greater the amount of violence and vagabondism; for in ancient days those two amusements, combining a wholesome excitement with a promising means of repairing shattered fortunes, were at once the ennobling pursuit and the healthful recreation of the Quality of this land.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

It's better to hang out with people better than you. Pick out associates whose behavior is better than yours and you'll drift in that direction.

5 years ago

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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.

5 years ago

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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Change Quotes

On how to make the game more exciting - Eliminate the referees, raise the basket four feet, double the size of the basketball, limit the height of the players to 5 feet 9 inches, bring back the centre jump, allow taxi drivers in for free and allow the players to carry guns.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al McGuire Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The only way to comprehend what mathematicians mean by Infinity is to contemplate the extent of human stupidity.

5 years ago

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes

whenever the literary german dives into a sentence, this is the last you are going to see of him till he emerges on the other side of his atlantic with his verb in his mouth.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I was never ruined but twice: once when I lost a lawsuit, and once when I won one.

5 years ago

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

All happy families resemble one another, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

5 years ago

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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

It is always a temptation to a rich and lazy nation, To puff and look important and to say:- 'Though we know we should defeat you, we have not the time to meet you, We will therefore pay you cash to go away.'

5 years ago

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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Temptation Quotes

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

5 years ago

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

As one reads history ... one is absolutely sickened, not by the crimes that the wicked have committed, but by the punishments that the good have inflicted.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes