Lewis Carroll Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Lewis Carroll Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I know she's just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing 'til you hear water.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nice Quotes

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Growing Up Quotes

I never play cricket. It requires one to assume such indecent postures.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Frazier is so ugly that he should donate his face to the US Bureau of Wild Life.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

Prejudices are what fools use for reason.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Use It Or Lose It Quotes

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes

If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

He who desires nothing, hopes for nothing, and is afraid of nothing, cannot be an artist.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Journalists are like dogs, when ever anything moves they begin to bark.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Arthur Schopenhauer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Will the highways on the Internet become more few?

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

... Waiter! raw beef-steak for the gentleman's eye,-nothing like raw beef-steak for a bruise, sir; cold lamp-post very good, but lamp-post inconvenient-damned odd standing in the open street half-an-hour, with your eye against a lamp.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I'd be at someone's house or be up on the roof all day and I'd get lonely - stir crazy - and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life. But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn't imagine it.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lonely Quotes

There is, in fact, no law or government at all; and it is wonderful how well things go on without them.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes