Honore De Balzac Quotes, Funny Quotes, Dog Quotes

He's got his dog trained so that it only does it on newspapers. The trouble is it does it when he's reading the blasted things.

5 years ago

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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

Figure out what to do, then take a nap.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The basis of action is lack of imagination. It is the last resource of those who know not how to dream.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

He has a 5 year plan... What is it, don't die?

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Years Quotes

A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Let us work without theorizing, tis the only way to make life endurable.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I would rather have a nod from an American, than a snuff- box from an emperor.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A joke is a very serious thing.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Governments need to have both shepherds and butchers.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Government Quotes

There is nothing the matter with Americans except their ideals. The real American is all right; it is the ideal American who is all wrong.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Real Quotes

Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes

If there are no cigars in heaven, I shall not go.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes

The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

I have witnessed and greatly enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been so powerful that one act was quite sufficient; whenever I have witnessed two acts I have gone away physically exhausted; and whenever I have ventured an entire opera the result has been the next thing to suicide.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

To be clever enough to get all that money, one must be stupid enough to want it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

There are some remarkable parallels between basketball and politics. Michael Jordan has already mastered the skill most needed for political success: how to stay aloft without visible means of support.

5 years ago

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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Funny Quotes , Basketball Quotes

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes