Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Religious Quotes

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religious Quotes

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Senior Quotes

All art is quite useless.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Don't you drink? I notice you speak slightingly of the bottle. I have drunk since I was fifteen and few things have given me more pleasure.

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange!

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A man who does not think for himself does not think at all.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

A beautiful vacuum filled with wealthy monogamists, all powerful and members of the best families all drinking themselves to death.

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beautiful Quotes

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

The covers of this book are too far apart.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

He was drunk upon the average once a day, and penitent upon an equally fair calculation once a month; and when he was penitent, he was invariably in the very last stage of maudlin intoxication. He was a ragged, roving, roaring kind of fellow, with a burly form, a sharp wit, and a ready head, and could turn his hand to anything when he chose to do it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Beauty is an outward gift, which is seldom despised, except by those to whom it has been refused.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

4 years ago

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes

He has no enemies, but he is intensely disliked by his friends.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

Fashions have done more harm than revolutions.

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Tags : Victor Hugo Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wisdom Quotes

Most modern calendars mar the sweet simplicity of our lives by reminding us that each day that passes is the anniversary of some perfectly uninteresting event.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Anniversary Quotes