Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Quotes, Funny Quotes, Reading Quotes

Many readers judge of the power of a book by the shock it gives their feelings - as some savage tribes determine the power of muskets by their recoil; that being considered best which fairly prostrates the purchaser.

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Tags : Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Quotes , Funny Quotes , Reading Quotes

Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Out upon merry Christmas! What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer...? If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' upon his lips should be boiled with his won pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christmas Quotes

A poet can survive everything but a misprint.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes

The English country-gentleman galloping after a fox — the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes

Tell the cook of this restaurant with my compliments that these are the very worst sandwiches in the whole world, and that, when I ask for a watercress sandwich, I do not mean a loaf with a field in the middle of it.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Only one marriage I regret. I remember after I got that marriage license I went across from the license bureau to a bar for a drink. The bartender said, "What will you have, sir?" And I said, "A glass of hemlock."

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

I have witnessed and greatly enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been so powerful that one act was quite sufficient; whenever I have witnessed two acts I have gone away physically exhausted; and whenever I have ventured an entire opera the result has been the next thing to suicide.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Auto racing, bull fighting, and mountain climbing are the only real sports... all the others are games.

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

It is a sad truth, but we have lost the faculty of giving lovely names to things. Names are everything. I never quarrel with actions. My one quarrel is with words. The man who could call a spade a spade should be compelled to use one. It is the only thing he is fit for.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

This may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about.. when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

A dog reflects the family life. Whoever saw a frisky dog in a gloomy family, or a sad dog in a happy one? Snarling people have snarling dogs, dangerous people have dangerous ones.

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes

A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes