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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Farewell, fair cruelty.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes
- As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Don't you drink? I notice you speak slightingly of the bottle. I have drunk since I was fifteen and few things have given me more pleasure.
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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- We are living in 1937, and our universities, I suggest, are not half-way out of the fifteenth century. We have made hardly any changes in our conception of university organization, education, graduation, for a century - for several centuries.
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Tags : H. G. Wells Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- We think our fathers fools, so wise we grow. Our wiser sons, no doubt will think us so.
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Tags : Alexander Pope Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wise Quotes
- When a woman marries again, it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Husband Quotes
- The difference between screwing around and science is writing it down.
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Tags : Adam Savage Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes
- Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes
- Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others.
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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dad Quotes
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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Tags : Alan Dundes Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kindness Quotes
- I hospitalized a rock, killed a brick...I'm so bad I make medicine sick!
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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes
- I love Americans, but not when they try to talk French. What a blessing it is that they never try to talk English.
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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes