John Donne Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

I observe the physician with the same diligence as the disease.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : John Donne Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Poor Mr. Pickwick! ... If he played a wrong card, Miss Bolo looked a small armoury of daggers; if he stopped to consider which was the right one, Lady Snuphanuph would throw herself back in her chair, and smile with a mingled glance of impatience and pity to Mrs. Colonel Wugsby, at which Mrs. Colonel Wugsby would shrug up her shoulders, and cough, as much as to say she wondered whether he ever would begin.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Smoking Quotes

The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes

If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Law Quotes

All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Compassion Quotes

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes

I think war is a dangerous place.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes

A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

I love acting. It is so much more real than life.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The faults of the burglar are the qualities of the financier.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lying Quotes

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Success Quotes

Most people's major life changes don't come from reading an article in the newspaper; they come from reading longer-form essays or thoughtful books, which are much more convincing and detailed.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Aaron Swartz Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says: he is always convinced that it says what he means.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

If one tells the truth, one is sure, sooner or later, to be found out.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Plain women are always jealous of their husbands. Beautiful women never are. They are always so occupied with being jealous of other women's husbands.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beautiful Quotes