George Bernard Shaw Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

The play was a great success, but audience was a dismal failure.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The only thing that can console one for being poor is extravagance.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

They misunderestimated me.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

For your popular rumour, unlike the rolling stone of the proverb, is one which gathers a deal of moss in its wanderings up and down.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

We think our fathers fools, so wise we grow. Our wiser sons, no doubt will think us so.

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Tags : Alexander Pope Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wise Quotes

There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have never been discovered.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them, and enter the next world as paupers. I have saved up enough to make an astonishment there.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.

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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Law Quotes

I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom.

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Tags : Edgar Allan Poe Quotes , Funny Quotes , Pain Quotes

If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.

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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I observe the physician with the same diligence as the disease.

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Tags : John Donne Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I don't think the discus will ever attract any interest until they let us start throwing them at one another.

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Tags : Al Oerter Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked.

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We take greater pains to persuade others that we are happy than in endeavoring to think so ourselves

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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes

Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes