Adam Ferrara Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humor Quotes

If you look at a group of people that had faith, it's got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, 'I don't think he knows where he's going.'

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Many are stubborn in pursuit of the path they have chosen, few in pursuit of the goal.

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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Then, at the end of every hand, Miss Bolo would inquire with a dismal countenance and reproachful sigh, why Mr. Pickwick had not returned that diamond, or led the club, or roughed the spade, or finessed the heart, or led through the honour, or brought out the ace, or played up to the king, or some such thing; and in reply to all these grave charges, Mr. Pickwick would be wholly unable to plead any justification whatever, having by this time forgotten all about the game.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

4 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary.

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Tags : Robert Louis Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.

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Tags : Dalai Lama Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

General," said the commander of the delinquent brigade, "I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes

When a man does exactly what a woman expects him to do she doesn't think much of him. One should always do what a woman doesn't expect, just as one should say what she doesn't understand.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Husband Quotes

Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Education Quotes

Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes

Everyone keeps saying, "Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating." It's like saying, "How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt?" I don't care.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.

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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christmas Quotes

He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I don't recognize you - I've changed a lot.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

In Paris, the greatest expression of personal satisfaction known to man is the smirk on the face of a male, highly pleased with himself as he leaves the boudoir of a lady.

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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes