Albert Einstein Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not.

5 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

That's an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone... forever?

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Philosophical Quotes

"Peggotty!" repeated Miss Betsey, with some indignation. "Do you mean to say, child, that any human being has gone into a Christian church, and got herself named Peggotty?"

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christian Quotes

My toughest fight was with my first wife.

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

I have lost friends, some by death...others by sheer inability to cross the street.

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Tags : Virginia Woolf Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

God created war so that Americans would learn geography.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I'm so overexposed, I'm making Paris Hilton look like a recluse.

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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

Truth - An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

Fifteen referees. I want fifteen referees to be at this fight because there ain't no one man who can keep up with the pace I'm gonna set except me. There's not a man alive who can whup me. I'm too fast. I'm too smart. I'm too pretty. I should be a postage stamp. That's the only way I'll ever get licked.

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Smart Quotes

More and more of our imports are coming from overseas

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes

Few women care to be laughed at and men not at all, except for large sums of money.

6 years ago

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Tags : Alan Ayckbourn Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

You don't ever ask a barber whether you need a haircut.

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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes

Be excellent and party on dudes.

6 years ago

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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I have insecurities of course, but I don't hang out with anyone who points them out to me.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adele Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hater Quotes

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an ever smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Golf Quotes

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

I am sorry for those that disagree with me because I know that they are wrong.

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Tags : Woodrow Wilson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sorry Quotes