Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Witty Quotes

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Intellectuals solve problems, geniuses prevent them.

5 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Success Quotes

There is always something ridiculous about the emotions of people whom one has ceased to love.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.

5 years ago

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Compassion Quotes

Home is the girl's prison and the woman's workhouse.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

If one tells the truth, one is sure, sooner or later, to be found out.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake.

5 years ago

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Tags : Alexander Pope Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

Here is the piece. If you can't say fornicate can you say copulate or if not that can you say co-habit? If not that would have to say consummate I suppose. Use your own good taste and judgment.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes

I have witnessed and greatly enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been so powerful that one act was quite sufficient; whenever I have witnessed two acts I have gone away physically exhausted; and whenever I have ventured an entire opera the result has been the next thing to suicide.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The funniest things are the forbidden.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Thieves respect property. They merely wish the property to become their property that they may more perfectly respect it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Respect Quotes

They misunderestimated me.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes

I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

You can't imagine what a pleasure this complete laziness is to me: not a thought in my brain- you might send a ball rolling through it!

5 years ago

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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sloth Quotes