Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

Our civilization has decided that determining the guilt or innocence of men is a thing too important to be trusted to trained men. When it wants a library catalogued, or the solar system discovered, or any trifle of that kind, it uses up its specialists. But when it wishes anything done which is really serious, it collects twelve of the ordinary men standing round. The same thing was done, if I remember right, by the Founder of Christianity.

5 years ago

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His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.

6 years ago

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To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do.

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I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'

6 years ago

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Friendship is far more tragic than love. It lasts longer.

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Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

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Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better.

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...there isn't often anything in Wagner opera that one would call by such a violent name as acting.

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Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell.

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My rackets are run on strictly American lines and they're going to stay that way.

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Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.

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Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.

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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.

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The report of my death was an exaggeration.

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I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

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Sunshine is my quest.

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I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

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A modest ring at the bell at length allayed her fears, and Miss Benton, hurrying into her own room and shutting herself up, in order that she might preserve that appearance of being taken by surprise which is so essential to the polite reception of visitors, awaited their coming with a smiling countenance.

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Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.

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It is a wise child that knows its own father, and an unusual one that unreservedly approves of him.

6 years ago

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