Confucius Quotes, Love Quotes, Funny Quotes

The funniest people are the saddest once

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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Don't you drink? I notice you speak slightingly of the bottle. I have drunk since I was fifteen and few things have given me more pleasure.

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.

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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom.

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Tags : Edgar Allan Poe Quotes , Funny Quotes , Pain Quotes

Will the highways on the Internet become more few?

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

If so many men, so many minds, certainly so many hearts, so many kinds of love.

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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Women are made to be loved, not understood.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Truth - An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that men never learn anything from history.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

I think war is a dangerous place.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes

... Take another glass of wine, and excuse my mentioning that society as a body does not expect one to be so strictly conscientious in emptying one's glass, as to turn it bottom upwards with the rim on one's nose.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

For truth is always strange; stranger than fiction.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

My toughest fight was with my first wife.

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes