Adam Sandler Quotes, Funny Quotes, Hockey Quotes

I've got a hockey record, I took off my skate and tried to stab a guy, I'm the only person who ever tried that.

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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hockey Quotes

A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes

A poet can survive everything but a misprint.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

We are too civil to books. For a few golden sentences we will turn over and actually read a volume of four or five hundred pages.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes

My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, 'Adam - uh, don't kiss guys.'

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes

Any man may be in good spirits and good temper when he's well dressed. There ain't much credit in that.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I have never heard enough classical music to be able to enjoy it; & the simple truth is, I detest it. Not mildly, but will all my heart. To me an opera is the very climax & cap-stone of the absurd, the fantastic the unjustifiable. I hate the very name of opera - partly because of the nights of suffering I have endured in its presence, & partly because I want to love it and can't.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hate Quotes

Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sexy Quotes

Really, if the lower orders don't set a good example, what on earth is the use of them?

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

We have really everything in common with America nowadays, except, of course, language.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The roulette table pays nobody except him that keeps it. Nevertheless a passion for gaming is common, though a passion for keeping roulette tables is unknown.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

Familiarity breeds contempt. How accurate that is. The reason we hold truth in such respect is because we have so little opportunity to get familiar with it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Respect Quotes

The torpid artist seeks inspiration at any cost, by virtue or by vice, by friend or by fiend, by prayer or by wine.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn't. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

We were together. I forget the rest.

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Tags : Walt Whitman Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that men never learn anything from history.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.

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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

He is really not so ugly after all, provided, of course, that one shuts one's eyes, and does not look at him.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Man is but mortal: and there is a point beyond which human courage cannot extend. Mr. Pickwick gazed through his spectacles for an instant on the advancing mass, and then fairly turned his back and-we will not say fled; firstly, because it is an ignoble term, and, secondly, because Mr. Pickwick's figure was by no means adapted for that mode of retreat-he trotted away, at as quick a rate as his legs would convey him;.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes