Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

...there isn't often anything in Wagner opera that one would call by such a violent name as acting.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The play was a great success, but audience was a dismal failure.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The humorist who invented trial by jury played a colossal practical joke upon the world, but since we have the system we ought to try and respect it. A thing which is not thoroughly easy to do, when we reflect that by command of the law a criminal juror must be an intellectual vacuum, attached to a melting heart and perfectly macaronian bowels of compassion.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

People never ask people doing serious music, 'Do you ever think about doing funny music?'

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Yankovic Quotes , Funny Quotes , Thinking Quotes

I cut my own hair. I got sick of barbers because they talk too much. And too much of their talk was about my hair coming out.

5 years ago

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell.

5 years ago

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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes

A dog reflects the family life. Whoever saw a frisky dog in a gloomy family, or a sad dog in a happy one? Snarling people have snarling dogs, dangerous people have dangerous ones.

5 years ago

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes

Those who love not their fellow-beings live unfruitful lives, and prepare for their old age a miserable grave.

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Tags : Percy Bysshe Shelley Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kindness Quotes

I love acting. It is so much more real than life.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

The traveler sees what he sees, the tourist sees what he has come to see.

5 years ago

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

"The twins no longer derive their sustenance from Nature's founts - in short," said Mr. Micawber, in one of his bursts of confidence, "they are weaned..."

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

What is wrong with the prosaic Englishman is what is wrong with the prosaic men of all countries: stupidity.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes

In America any boy may become President, and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adlai E. Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Will the highways on the Internet become more few?

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Positive Quotes

The secret to success is to offend the greatest number of people.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sloth Quotes