Abraham Lincoln Quotes, Funny Quotes, Life Quotes

Be excellent and party on dudes.

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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

A poet can survive everything but a misprint.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors and laugh at them in our turn?

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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

"Oh!" said my aunt, "I was not aware at first to whom I had the pleasure of objecting."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kindness Quotes

My father must have had some elementary education for he could read and write and keep accounts inaccurately

4 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Father Quotes

The idea that no gentleman ever swears is all wrong. He can swear and still be a gentleman if he does it in a nice and benevolent and affectionate way.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nice Quotes

If one plays good music, people don't listen and if one plays bad music people don't talk.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes

If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wisdom Quotes

Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground.

4 years ago

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Tags : Francis Bacon Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes

What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I have attended operas, whenever I could not help it, for fourteen years now; I am sure I know of no agony comparable to the listening to an unfamiliar opera.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Learning French is trivial: the word for horse is cheval, and everything else follows in the same way.

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Tags : Alan Perlis Quotes , Funny Quotes , Horse Quotes

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.

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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

The nephew revenges himself for this, by holding his breath and terrifying his kinswoman with the dread belief that he has made up his mind to burst. Regardless of whispers and shakes, he swells and becomes discoloured, and yet again swells and becomes discoloured, until the aunt can bear it no longer, but leads him out, with no visible neck, and with his eyes going before him like a prawn's.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Revenge Quotes

As he was valiant, I honour him. But as he was ambitious, I slew him.

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Nothing can confound a wise man more than laughter from a dunce.

4 years ago

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes