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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- The funniest people are the saddest once
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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- There are some remarkable parallels between basketball and politics. Michael Jordan has already mastered the skill most needed for political success: how to stay aloft without visible means of support.
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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Funny Quotes , Basketball Quotes
- Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race.
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Tags : H. G. Wells Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cycling Quotes
- ... Take another glass of wine, and excuse my mentioning that society as a body does not expect one to be so strictly conscientious in emptying one's glass, as to turn it bottom upwards with the rim on one's nose.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- When one has not had a good father, one must create one.
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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dad Quotes
- The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- I have lost friends, some by death...others by sheer inability to cross the street.
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Tags : Virginia Woolf Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes
- I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't see the problem.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Math Quotes
- Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors and laugh at them in our turn?
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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes
- We take greater pains to persuade others that we are happy than in endeavoring to think so ourselves
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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes
- I don't quite recollect how many tumblers of whiskey toddy each man drank after supper; but this I know, that about one o'clock in the morning, the baillie's grown-up son became insensible while attempting the first verse of 'Willie brewed a peck o' maut'; and he having been, for half an hour before, the only other man visible above the mahogany, it occurred to my uncle that it was almost time to think about going.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Morning Quotes
- It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.
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Tags : Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it.
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Tags : Addison Mizner Quotes , Funny Quotes , Ignorance Quotes
- Journalists are like dogs, when ever anything moves they begin to bark.
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Tags : Arthur Schopenhauer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes
- It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down... Why do we laugh? Because it is a grave religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religious Quotes
- A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
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Tags : Adi Da Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes