Adam Sandler Quotes, Funny Quotes, Blue Quotes

I drew the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before and, to be honest with you I wanted to see a blue duck.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Blue Quotes

It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't see the problem.

5 years ago

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Math Quotes

Nothing has really happened until it has been recorded.

5 years ago

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Tags : Virginia Woolf Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Since both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by.

6 years ago

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Tags : Alan Coren Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Science Quotes

The covers of this book are too far apart.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Poor Mr. Pickwick! ... If he played a wrong card, Miss Bolo looked a small armoury of daggers; if he stopped to consider which was the right one, Lady Snuphanuph would throw herself back in her chair, and smile with a mingled glance of impatience and pity to Mrs. Colonel Wugsby, at which Mrs. Colonel Wugsby would shrug up her shoulders, and cough, as much as to say she wondered whether he ever would begin.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I could have become a soldier if I had waited; I knew more about retreating than the man who invented retreating.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes

He appeared to enjoy beyond everything the sound of his own voice. I couldn't wonder at that, for it was mellow and full and gave great importance to every word he uttered. He listened to himself with obvious satisfaction and sometimes gently beat time to his own music with his head or rounded a sentence with his hand.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

If you injure your neighbour, better not do it by halves.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Half Quotes

The lack of money is the root of all evil.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Bible Quotes

Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cat Quotes

I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nice Quotes

I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.

5 years ago

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes

I was always treated as if I had insisted on being born, in opposition to the dictates of reason, religion, and morality, and against the dissuadinig arguments of my best friends.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The traveler sees what he sees, the tourist sees what he has come to see.

5 years ago

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The true triumph of reason is that it enables us to get along with those who do not possess it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Triumph Quotes