T. S. Eliot Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

5 years ago

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world, and the worst of it is that half of them are true.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , True Friend Quotes

Think! I've got enough to do, and little enough to get for it, without thinking.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A book is made from a tree. It is an assemblage of flat, flexible parts (still called "leaves") imprinted with dark pigmented squiggles. One glance at it and you hear the voice of another person, perhaps someone dead for thousands of years. Across the millennia, the author is speaking, clearly and silently, inside your head, directly to you. Writing is perhaps the greatest of human inventions, binding together people, citizens of distant epochs, who never knew one another. Books break the shackles of time ― proof that humans can work magic.

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Tags : Carl Sagan Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

On life's vast ocean diversely we sail. Reasons the card, but passion the gale.

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Tags : Alexander Pope Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The stupider the peasant, the better the horse understands him.

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Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Horse Quotes

To buy books would be a good thing if we could also buy the time to read them; but the purchase of books is often mistaken for the assimilation and mastering of their contents.

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Tags : Arthur Schopenhauer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes

I have lost friends, some by death...others by sheer inability to cross the street.

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Tags : Virginia Woolf Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

There are men who can think no deeper than a fact.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes

He was drunk upon the average once a day, and penitent upon an equally fair calculation once a month; and when he was penitent, he was invariably in the very last stage of maudlin intoxication. He was a ragged, roving, roaring kind of fellow, with a burly form, a sharp wit, and a ready head, and could turn his hand to anything when he chose to do it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Here is the piece. If you can't say fornicate can you say copulate or if not that can you say co-habit? If not that would have to say consummate I suppose. Use your own good taste and judgment.

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Whenever a man's friends begin to compliment him about looking young, he may be sure that they think he is growing old.

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Tags : Victor Hugo Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes

Knowledge is invariably a matter of degree: you cannot put your finger upon even the simplest datum and say this we know.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race.

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Tags : H. G. Wells Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cycling Quotes

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Science Quotes

To kill a relative of whom you are tired is something. But to inherit his property afterwards, that is genuine pleasure.

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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes

There is more to be said for stupidity than people imagine. Personally I have a great admiration for stupidity. It is a sort of fellow-feeling, I suppose.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , People Quotes

Everyone who has ever built anywhere a "new heaven" first found the power thereto in his own hell.

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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Government Quotes