Muhammad Ali Quotes, Funny Quotes, Beauty Quotes

Frazier is so ugly that he should donate his face to the US Bureau of Wild Life.

5 years ago

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Change Quotes

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Gore Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

For truth is always strange; stranger than fiction.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

whenever the literary german dives into a sentence, this is the last you are going to see of him till he emerges on the other side of his atlantic with his verb in his mouth.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happy Birthday Quotes

That's an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone... forever?

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Philosophical Quotes

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Uncles Quotes

What people commonly call fate is mostly their own stupidity.

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Tags : Arthur Schopenhauer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fate Quotes

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , New Year Quotes

I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christian Quotes

It is a very dangerous thing to know one’s friends.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The proverb says, "Born lucky, always lucky," and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for one or two of our lads (per annum) to get drowned in the Mississippi or in Bear Creek, but I was pulled out in a 2/3 drowned condition 9 times before I learned to swim, and was considered to be a cat in disguise.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

No one would remember the Good Samaritan if he'd only had good intentions; he had money as well.

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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

As he was valiant, I honour him. But as he was ambitious, I slew him.

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes