Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Life Quotes

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

The average American may not know who his grandfather was. But the American was, however, one degree better off than the average Frenchman who, as a rule, was in considerable doubt as to who his father was.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Father Quotes

I would rather have a nod from an American, than a snuff- box from an emperor.

5 years ago

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Money is like love; it kills slowly and painfully the one who withholds it, and enlivens the other who turns it on his fellow man.

5 years ago

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Tags : Khalil Gibran Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

He has a 5 year plan... What is it, don't die?

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Years Quotes

Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.

5 years ago

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes

Frailty, thy name is woman!

5 years ago

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Memorable Quotes

A modest ring at the bell at length allayed her fears, and Miss Benton, hurrying into her own room and shutting herself up, in order that she might preserve that appearance of being taken by surprise which is so essential to the polite reception of visitors, awaited their coming with a smiling countenance.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Journalists are like dogs, when ever anything moves they begin to bark.

5 years ago

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Tags : Arthur Schopenhauer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

You don't ever ask a barber whether you need a haircut.

5 years ago

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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Rule No.1: Never lose money. Rule No.2: Never forget rule No.1.

5 years ago

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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Success Quotes

Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sloth Quotes

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Give women the vote, and in five years there will be a crushing tax on bachelors.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Crush Quotes

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

6 years ago

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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

"Ah, Miss, hope is an excellent thing for such as has the spirits to bear it!" said Mrs Wickam, shaking her head. "My own spirits is not equal to it, but I don't owe it any grudge. I envys them that is so blest!"

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes