Charles Dickens Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

... Take another glass of wine, and excuse my mentioning that society as a body does not expect one to be so strictly conscientious in emptying one's glass, as to turn it bottom upwards with the rim on one's nose.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I don't recognize you - I've changed a lot.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I've just read that I am dead. Don't forget to delete me from your list of subscribers.

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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

We take greater pains to persuade others that we are happy than in endeavoring to think so ourselves

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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes

Morality consists of suspecting other people of not being legally married.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Anniversary Quotes

I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The last thing one discovers in composing a work is what to put first.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes

Dombey sat in the corner of the darkened room in the great arm-chair by the bedside, and Son lay tucked up warm in a little basket bedstead, carefully disposed on a low settee immediately in front of the fire and close to it, as if his constitution were analogous to that of a muffin, and it was essential to toast him brown while he was very new.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The Creator made Italy from designs by Michelangelo.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Travel Quotes

It is obvious that all sense has gone out of modern marriage; which is, however, no objection to marriage but to modernity.

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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

Your next-door neighbor is not a man; he is an environment. He is the barking of a dog; he is the noise of a piano; he is a dispute about a party wall; he is drains that are worse than yours, or roses that are better than yours.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

To be clever enough to get all that money, one must be stupid enough to want it.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

In war it does not matter who is right, but who is left.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes