Oscar Wilde Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

I never play cricket. It requires one to assume such indecent postures.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Nothing has really happened until it has been recorded.

5 years ago

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Tags : Virginia Woolf Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

It is better to be beautiful than to be good. But... it is better to be good than to be ugly.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

It being a part of Mrs. Pipchin's system not to encourage a child's mind to develop and expand itself like a young flower, but to open it by force like an oyster.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Children Quotes

It is true, I worry about the hype. The only person more over-hyped than me is you.

5 years ago

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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I have imbibed such a love for money that I keep some sequins in a drawer to count, and cry over them once a week.

5 years ago

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

The idea that no gentleman ever swears is all wrong. He can swear and still be a gentleman if he does it in a nice and benevolent and affectionate way.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nice Quotes

All generalizations are false, including this one.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

The earth has a skin and that skin has diseases; one of its diseases is called man.

5 years ago

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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Knowledge is invariably a matter of degree: you cannot put your finger upon even the simplest datum and say this we know.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Poor Mr. Pickwick! ... If he played a wrong card, Miss Bolo looked a small armoury of daggers; if he stopped to consider which was the right one, Lady Snuphanuph would throw herself back in her chair, and smile with a mingled glance of impatience and pity to Mrs. Colonel Wugsby, at which Mrs. Colonel Wugsby would shrug up her shoulders, and cough, as much as to say she wondered whether he ever would begin.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Frailty, thy name is woman!

5 years ago

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Memorable Quotes

The dog is very smart. He feels sorry for me because I receive so much mail; that's why he tries to bite the mailman.

5 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them.

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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Three minutes thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

6 years ago

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Tags : A. E. Housman Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes