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Funny Quotes 957
- great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kindness Quotes
- Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- Really, if the lower orders don't set a good example, what on earth is the use of them?
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fall Quotes
- A man who does not think for himself does not think at all.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I have insecurities of course, but I don't hang out with anyone who points them out to me.
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Tags : Adele Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hater Quotes
- It being a part of Mrs. Pipchin's system not to encourage a child's mind to develop and expand itself like a young flower, but to open it by force like an oyster.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Children Quotes
- The funniest people are the saddest once
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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The true triumph of reason is that it enables us to get along with those who do not possess it.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Triumph Quotes
- Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sister Quotes
- I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Jealousy Quotes
- I'm so overexposed, I'm making Paris Hilton look like a recluse.
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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God's fool, and all His works must be contemplated with respect.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes