Mark Twain Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Anyone who has the power to make you believe absurdities has the power to make you commit injustices.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Great art is the contempt of a great man for small art.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : F. Scott Fitzgerald Quotes , Funny Quotes , Art Quotes

Think! I've got enough to do, and little enough to get for it, without thinking.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Knowledge is invariably a matter of degree: you cannot put your finger upon even the simplest datum and say this we know.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

We are too civil to books. For a few golden sentences we will turn over and actually read a volume of four or five hundred pages.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes

Few women care to be laughed at and men not at all, except for large sums of money.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Alan Ayckbourn Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Edgar Allan Poe Quotes , Funny Quotes , Pain Quotes

When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes

I like Wagner's music better than anybody's. It is so loud that one can talk the whole time without other people hearing what one says.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes

When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes

I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Years Quotes

One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a really beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her; and the rule applies to Niagara Falls, to majestic mountains, and to mosques-especially to mosques.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Clever Quotes

Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy, and the lash.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Army Quotes